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Wednesday, December 14, 2005
........*tears of anger*........
ok this effing sucks! I hate it. I hate certain people right now....well actually right now I hate all people...every last single one...I just hate some more than others. So go eff an effing duck!!! I can't stand it anymore. I can't!! I've tried and it just isn't helping!!! Better yet this is what I will do. I will come on here tomorrow and just tellith you all everything that is going on right now, maybe then u guys might see and actually understand whats going on. (U)
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Ok so its a snow day today...o golly gee what fun...well ac tually its getting boring now...lol...i would rather be in skewl than here...just bc theres things to do...and i dont have to worry about daly rants...all i have to do is talk with friends and do work...but here theres o muchmore expected of me...im close to running away and living on the street.,...go team me...not really coz i dont really wanna do that...but shyt happens and u cant always help it...so anyways it was confirmed...i look older with my hair up and younger with it down...i dumped travis...thank god...i feel like a weight was lifted....and i have my eye on 2 cuties...*corsses fingers* wish me luck...lol...i got my english credit...and next year...wherever i am im taking fashion design...yippee...im making my own graffiti clothing and then im gonna sell them to ppls at skewll...its a quick way to make cash and i have fun doing it to....YAY...canadian idol is soon...i think its in like...56 some days or...i need find a different ride down there tho...witht he terms and conditions made by the gps...thinsgs dont look like ill have any fun just trying to have fun...is that not sad??...shizzle fits i gotta jet...things to do, places to go...ppl to meet and scare...i wyl
Lotsa Love Everyone
xox toodlez and adieu hun xox
Missin Everyone Tonz
"SSDD"
~Moi~
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
So I did ALOT more english today...lol as for last night, well lets say I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow...sadly but true it is lmao.
So I slept in today pretty late today, and also everytime I finished a chapter...I took a 30min nap. Hahaha...so now tonight I'll hopefully not fall asleep so easily as I did last night...*crosses fingers*
Oh I also found my celly-phone...*cheers*
Somehow it lodged itself between my matress and wall...lol I found it when I pulled the bed out from the wall a bit to enable me plugging in my stereo..lol and it fell to the floor...lol and thats how I found my celly hahaha...kinda stupid thou.
Krista, Sara and I have been dubbed "The Three Muskateers" by Bryan...lol...don't know how but yesh that's what we've been dubbed...
So, earlier today I got to thinking about starting school...and like some part of me cannot wait till I start, as it would be better than being stuck inside all day with nothing really to do lol...but then there is this other part of me that is really nervous about starting school.
I mean...I know for a fact its a bigger school than PF, and I know it has more people attending, but its only one floor...I can find my way around in a multiple storey school, and I can find my way around a small single storey school, but theres got to be ALOT of hallways...and I know Im prolly gonna get lost. I'm really nervous about that...but I'm also nervous because of the whole meeting new people...
I mean I may be a talkative person, when I'm in a familiar place and with familiar faces...
but when I'm not...I get all quiet and am so totally shy.
I'm not in Orillia anymore, living with everyone I've known since Grade 6 and higher...I'm not in Wyoming with the people I knew for...well a few months...and any other place I grew to know...
Sara is our fortune cookie...lol...she's always has the little bit of wisdom from the fortune cookie, well I now have Sara mad at me...and I learned not to take everything oh so literally, because well, Bryan was like, "omg Sara shut up, you are such a foturne cookie!", and she glared at him, Kristin and I looked at each other and said, "Who has cookie's?"...Bryan was like "No one has cookie's you dumbasses, SARA IS A DAMNED FORTUNE COOKIE!! ALL SHE EVER DOES IS GIVE FORUNE COOKIE ADVICE, SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO KEEP THINGS TO HERSELF! SHE THINKS SHE'S HELPING BUT ALL SHE'S REALLY DOING IS MAKING THINGS WORSE!!"...then he just said goodbye and walked away...Kristin agreed with Bryan, and I thought Sara was gonna cry, but the only thing I could do was look at her and...well I bit her...lol...then I came to aquire, "You don't taste like a fortune cookie, so why all the wisdom with no taste?"
Lets just say last time I was slapped by someone was Chantelle and that was playfully when I told Katie half of what Stevie was getting her for her birthday...Sara and Bryan arne't talking right now, Sara and Kristin aren't talking right now, Sara and I aren't talking right now, and now Kristin and I aren't talking to Bryan right now...
I'm sorry Bryan but you deserved it ok...you should have been smarter than that...as for Sara, I'm sorry...I was really immature, I hope you don't hate me for being that immature...and Kristin thanx, I owe you lots right now.
Anyways I'm signing off...I'm kinda in a bad mood now and have lots 2 think about so bye
xox Toodlez n Adieu Hun xox
Lotsa Love Everyone
"SSDD"
~Moi~
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Ha ha ha.....Ok so things are starting to pick up...lol and yes the saddened fact is that I am and have almost entirely converted prep...lol on general terms I would shudder but sadly I don't really get that urge anymore lol...Oh and my friend Erin came up with a lovely solution to the problem...lol...she blames the water...AMZING ISN'T IT!!! Maybe they should put up a warning that says, "Warning: Drink Water At Risk, May Cause Prep Conversion."
Meh things are all weird that way.....Also, I know for a HUGE fact that I am gonna be comin up to visit...thou I am not entirely sure when exactly...I do know that I am...lol....my g-rents want it to be sometime like the Thursday so that gives me a timeline of Thursday, Friday, Saturday and possibly Sunday...*whoop whoop*..Travis wants to know if its ok if him and his dad can come pick me up sooner lmao...my gma said we would talk about it later tonight...*YIP YIP*
OK well I will get back to this topic later....my next topic that is really tending to get on my nerves...WHY IS MY DAD SUCH A WORRIER AND PESIMIST?!?!? Like omg!! I was checkin my different accounts and when I log into my more frequently used account...it turns out he added me....and then tells me that if I didn't wanna talk don't tell him to add me...and blah blah blah....like omg just because I didn't add him right away...*SREAMS INTO PILLOW*....I'm sorry but it's those habits that I cannot stand...it's to stress-full...and depressing and annoying...and if he doesn't let me stay with him to visit friends...then all I have to do is talk to one of the people in the very large group of individuales that would let me so it doesn't matter all that much...and I swear if he is like thatnwhen I come to visit I'll walk over to someones house...worse to worse Travis said I could stay with him....and secondly if Peter is there...I will do the same thing...because I have had it with being pushed around...just ebcause thats the way he has chosen to live his life...doesn't mean thats the way I choose to live mine...I'm sorry I have my own plans as to how to live my life...and you know thats the way I intend to live it...MY WAY!! If I make mistakes along the way...at least their MY MISTAKES and not anyone elses.
Anyways...total topic change to put me in a better mood....
Hmmm...Oh yah....so Here's some news...lol
I have an arch enemy. He is a squirril and he LIVES to torment me!
I swear...ITS TRUE!!! His evil squirrilyness with his little beady squirril eyes...and cute fluffy squirril tail...his little evil squirril mind is always working on his evil squirril plans as to how he is going to torment to the max for the next time...well guess what...next time the squirril comes to my window I'm gonna tornment it...I don't know how yet...but that little squirril with his evil squirrilyness will stop being my Arch-Enemy....that furry little rodent...My Arch-Enemy...grrrrr...I will come to find a perfect plan...*thinks* hmmm what would Foamy do if another squirril as on his territory? What advice would Foamy give to me???
Well in other news...I lost my celly again...lol...I had it when I was on the phone with Travis last night....and after I got off the phone I went straight to bed...and now i can't find it....so after I get most the english done tonight...before I go to bed I will dedicate 30min to searching for it...yup yup...I will I will...that is if I don't fall asleep before hand...becasue I know for a fact that I am going to be up prettp darn late tonight working on it....lol my goal is to have it done by thursday or friday of this week before I go to ODSS to enroll and choose my courses.
Well lets hope I reach my goal...lol...and that I don;t stop in the middle of it and start procastinating...because I mean...lets face it...thats what I generally tend to do...*shrugs* I'm not entirely sure as to why that is...but it is non the less...maybe...well hopefully I'll grow out of that habit...lol...if not...I guess it's someting I must live with lol...
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! *Jumps up and down excitedly several times being totally immature* I CAN'T WAIT TO GO VISIT EVERYONE!!!....lol....worse to worse if things aren't good with my father then I'll go buy a cardboard box and live in it on the streets while I go visit...or I'll just call up one of my friends parents who has offered me to stay with them while I visit lol....either way worx for me lmao...
So...I still have awhile till I start skewl...and my aunt is supposed to come and show me around the skewl...because all my aunts and my dad went to ODSS...so yah...lucky lucky me...oh well...least I'm gonna get to go visit everyone...hopefully I'll be up there before February 3rd...right Travis? lol
Anyways...I'm gonna get moving now...I wanna make sure my English gets totally complete...so I'll write later about all the exciting things that happen here in Oville...lmao...OH AND KRISTY AND SO TOTALLY HAVE TO GET TOGETHER AND SO TOTALLY SOON AT THAT!!!
Oh and Kristin, Sara and Brian....HOT-LIPS YOU THREE!!! HOT-LIPS!!! U ALL ARE EXCELLENT KISSERS!! LMFAO....lol...oh yay what fun!!!
Oh and before I go.....Kristin and I learned that you should put the top back on the blender beofre you turn it on....lmfao
MISSIN EVERYONE TONZ!!!
LOVE YAH TRAV!!
xox Toodlez and Adieu Hun xox
Lotsa Love Everyone
"SSDD"
~Moi~
Thursday, January 13, 2005
True Love??===My thoughts
QUOTE FROM SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: ".....Oh Sob.....Oh Cry....."
OMG I TALKED TO TRAVIS TODAY!!! EHE IT MADE ME SO HAPPEE!!!
I hope to get an a response from him about the email I sent him last night...*sigh*
Well today I went to Newmarket to get the address changed on my health card...and then I went to Upper Canada Mall...wandered around for a bit...then we came back....
Oooo lucky lucky...then we went to ODSS...YAY...not....but I start skewl in a few weeks so till then I'm working double time on my credit recovery...lol...oh so boring....
OMG CRUSADER IS AN AWSOME BOOK!!!! I LOVE IT LIKE OH SO MUCH!!!
Lol...I've been reading it like non stop...
Okay...well I looked up in the dictionary...and I looked up the definition of love....and here is what I found...
Love:
- A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
But what I want to know is...how can anyone really put a single definition on such a small yet powerful word...I mean...is even logical to do something like that? Because "love" is such a highly overrated word..or underrated, depending on how you use it....or who uses it for that matter.
I mean isn't "love" different for everyone?? Sorry, I was unpacking when I got here, and I found a whole pile of notes from g9, g10, and some from even g11...and I came across the one KT gave to me in History w Taylor...the one where we were talking about what love was...and suddenly thats all thats been on my mind! So yah, but it's true, "Love" is different for everyone....and its not like you can "THINK" your in "love"...you either are or you aren't you either know or you don't!...It's hard to explain....in my life I have only ever loved 4 people...1 which, the only way we can talk is thru prayer, 2 he...it's, everytime we settle down and things are almost perfect he, it's basically a never ending stressful drama...I love him but it would never work...the 3rd guy...he doesn't even know it, but he likes someone I know, and even though I don't care much for the person he likes anymore...I still have respect for her and his feelings...the forth guy...lets just say I may only be 16 going 17 but if I oculd spend the rest of my life with someone...this guy would take the cake...he's sweet, he's teaching and has taught me things without him knowing it lol, he one guy I feel totally comfortable and safe with, and I can be myself without him ditching me because people tell him to...and he's proven it in more ways than one already...god, when I think about him I feel all warm and safe, and my stomache does flip-flops...when I'm not with him it tears me apart...but I can always count on the day we see each other again...lol...when I'm with him, I get all nervous and I don't know what to say...like if I wanna say something to him, I go over it several times to make sure its right, but when I get the opportune moment to say it...I flake, and just don't say anything, it's like I just swallow my words...which for me...it's not who I am...ask everyone who knows me...if I have something to say I'll say it...I'm brutally honest, and thats why people tend to get angry at me...because of that...becasue I always come out and say what is on my mind...but with this guy...I get all bashfull and nervous...but its a good kind of nervous...if anyone knows what I mean...
I can tryuly say that this 4th guy...I really do love him...the thing is...I can't say the name...at least...not yet, I still wanna wait and work it all out b4 I do, and I don't know how certain people will react...I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want them to find out second hand from anyone...I wanna work everything out so when that momwnt comes...that when i tell this mystery guy how I feel, everything will be perfect...and I hope when the time comes that I decide to tell everyone who this mystery guy is...that no one get hurt:(
Well its been a while here in Oville...and the people I know...we aren't really one what you can call speaking terms...we aren't even talking at all...so I'v been stuck inside...reading and doing credit recovery....soince I've been here...it's rather depressing lol Well I hoping I'll meet new people soon...I can't stand it...if not Hopefully I can come up and visit people during exams...that will always be good...right??? I think so...I may do that...I'll get lost of CC done and I'll just tell my gma it will somewhat like a small reward...lol it'll all work out...I hope
Well Im off...I wanna finish Crusader before tomorrow...so yah...and I need to get up early so yeah
SO I'll write ya'll later
MISS EVERYONE>>>>SPECIALLY U TRAV!!! *kisses*
xox Toodlez and Adieu Hun xox
Lotsa Love Everyone
"SSDD"
~Moi~
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Feelings??....Life???...Love???
OMG!!! I Miss everyone so much...as I have already previously stated in the previous blog entry lmao...Well Travis made me realize something today...even if only thru a single email...what does it matter what somone taught you...if it keeps you from something you wants to do or say...and lot of other things...because no matter what you'll always have someone who cares for you lol...I MISS YOU TRAVIS!!!!!
SO what do you do...when you have all these feelings inside you wanna tell someone/some people what your feeling but you don't exactly to tell them?
That maybe your afraid to get a reaction thaty you weren't quite expecting?
How can you stop the hurt of keeping it all away from them without telling them? Or is there even a way to do so? I don't know...it sorta confuzzle buzzling I find but then again that just happens to be me...why is it that when one has such feelings its so hard to get them out in the open??
Is it the fear of rejection to a certain "feeling" or is it the reaction one may recieve if they say something??
I don't know...I really don't know anymore...but its not exactly something one wants to keep locked up...incase it becomes to late....*sighs*
Onto a different topic tho...life is ok lol...I miss everyone lots, and I really miss Travis. I miss Orillia...and I'm officially unpacked now WITH everyone organzied neatly and put away...not to mention I'm already almost thru my second book that I started today...which may I add is not exactly an easy read lmao...It's a book called "Crusader" and it's really interesting...I'll write and entry about it once I'm finished reading it...lol..
I havent started school yet...I'm not exactly sure when I will but sadly( I cannot believe I'm saying this) I cannot wait to start...thou prolly after I do start Im gonna be complaining about going to school lmao...but then again which teen doesnt?
I found out I have a family doctor today lol...GO TEAM ME...thou I hate doctors with a passion...they get paid to hurt people...at least thats the theory Im living by...
Tomorrow I go to New Market to go and get my Health Card Address changed...yay...NOT!! lol...I would prefer to stay in and read all day but I dont particulary have a choice in this now do I?
O well u win some u loose some...
Well to finisih this off...Im gonna ask you...
What is love??
I know that I encountered this question myself in Grade 10 history class from KT...but Now I'm the one asking it....how do u know if its real? How do you know if its fake?
Will you if its for real? How do you know when you have met "The One"?
If you think you know all this...is there a chance it could be a mistake???
I unno just something thats been on my mind lately...
well I'm off...im gonna go watch "Hook" then finish reading "Crusader"...o what joy lmao..jk jk
well ttyl
MIss ya'll tons....LOVE U TRAVIS ...MISS YAH lol)u shall be dubbed Snoopy from this day forth)
xox Toodlez and Adieu Hun xox
Lotsa Love Everyone
"SSDD"
~Moi~
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*HUGS* TOTAL!
give Donna aka CANDI QUEEN or D-Lux more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
Someday
Kept alive by lies
A person in disguise
Forgetting how to live
Forgetting to forgive
Secrets kept inside
Guarded by my pride
Nothing here to see
It's all hidden within me
Someday you'll realize
The pain that I hold in my eyes
Someday I'll let you see
Everything inside of me
I never let you in
Or showed you beneath the skin
This mask is thin and weak
It won't survive a leak
Destroyable as it may be
You didn't get the opportunity
I must trust you to let you get close
I guess we'll see how that goes
Someday you'll realize
The pain that I hold in my eyes
Someday I'll you see
Everything inside of me
My expecations rise
Everytime I see the lies
It's tough to try to live up to it
To me, you'll always seem to not fit
Don't worry about why
It's not you but I
Maybe someday I'll understand
That it wouldn't be that bad
Someday you'll realize
The pain that I hold in my eyes
Someday I'll let you see
Everything inside of me
DROWNING
Flooding thoughts swarm my head,
and they've got me all confused.
Why does life have to be like this,
has this ever happened to you?
My head seems to flooding,
as questions fly in and rise.
I'm drowing in a sea,
of things I've locked inside.
I'm filling up with questions,
the ones I cannot answer.
While I myself am asking why,
but all I hear is laughter.
Questions and laughter, questions and laughter,
that's all I ever hear.
I'm drowning even quicker,
the end is drawing near.
I'm standing here inside myself,
as everyone just passes by.
Will I ever find the one,
to share with what's inside?
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ABOUT MOI
Name: Donna
Age: 16
DOB: 04/28/1988
Hair Color: currently it's black...but Naturally it's light brown...I'm letting it grow out right now
Eye Color: A mix actually...browny green(more brown) when I'm tired, bright bright green when I've been crying...but in general their green
Height: 5'4 I think...I know I've grown...if not 5'4 I'm 5'3 and a half almost 5'4
Weight: 105-110
--------------------
Further In Depth: I'm your typical teenage girl. I go to a semi typical high school, considering the fact that it's a Catholic School and I'm not Catholic. I like to hang out with my friends...the real ones that is. I enjoy singing, curling up someplace nice and reading a good book. I like to dance aswell and writing helps free all things I've locked inside myself unwilling to share with the world quite yet. I love sports, and I like working with people. But most of all I LOVE music. I almost always generally have music with me and playing where ever I go. I would consider myself mature, but choose's to be immature at times. Most of all I adore sugar....lol, it's MY ANTI-DRUG!!
Favourite Color(s): Black, Blue, Red, Yellow, Purple, and Orange.
Favourite Snack Food: Almost anything sugary, filled with sugary goodness. But I also like my veggies so I'll add veggies to that aswell.
Favourite Type Of Music: I don't really have a favourite type of music, I mean I listen to EVERYTHING, because I guess thats just who I am.
Favourite Movies: Maid In Manhatten, Mean Girls, Finding Nemo, Lilo and Stitch, Dreamcatcher, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Pay It Forward, Simon Birch, Frosty The Snowman, The Incredables, Titanic, Romeo and Juliet, Mixed Nuts, and some others that just aren't on my mind at the moment.
Favourite TV shows: Charmed, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Spongebob Squarepants, Friends, King of Queens, CSI, The Pretender, The Practice, Law and ORder:Special Victims Unit, Alvin and the Chipmunks, That 70's Show, Gilmore Girls, Filmore, Kim Possible, Fibi's Funnybones, Sex and the City, Worst Witch, Rugrats: All Grown Up, 15 Love, My So-Called Life
THINGS THEY DON'T TEACH US IN SCHOOL
*self-confidence
*communication skills
*attitude
*body image
*fashion sense
*personal style
*beauty
*friendship skills
I'm Wiccan. A lot of people think I dance around naked, casting curses on people. First of all, I don't believe in Satan. I worship the Goddess and the God. The Goddess is the most worshipped: She represents life and nurturing! The spells we do are mostly just healing rituals and meditaions asking Her to be with us in our time of need.
!!!BLOGGERS!!!
Rita+
Jacki+
Jenny+
Kelsey+
Lizster+
Liz+
Joanne+ Marlie aka. Murtle+ Steve+
Ben+ Erin+ Tash+ Travis+ Jill
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BLIND-ILLUSIONS SEEN
